


Peace & Love

by catie_writes_things



Series: The Arrangement [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Comics What Comics, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Now With More TOB, Pining, Post-Canon, Zutara Week, Zutara Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25535011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catie_writes_things/pseuds/catie_writes_things
Summary: To ensure a lasting peace for his nation and the world, Zuko is willing to do anything, even let the rulers of the other nations choose a bride for him. Unfortunately, a century of hostilities leaves the rest of the world with a certain degree of suspicion, and they decide to force the young Fire Lord into an alliance from which his nation can draw little material benefit - with the Southern Water Tribe. Katara agrees to this arrangement, reluctantly, for reasons of her own, while Zuko struggles with a secret that could ruin the whole thing.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: The Arrangement [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985249
Comments: 256
Kudos: 695
Collections: Catie Writes Zutara Week, Zutara Week 2020





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be real with you guys - most of this story remains unwritten and I have no idea when it will be finished. But since the first installment is done I figured I might as well post it on the appropriate day and see what happens.

Katara could have said no.

Her father would never have forced her into a marriage she didn’t agree to. Too much of their family history was against that. If she had refused, he would have accepted her decision. In fact, Katara suspected, he would have been relieved. She was only eighteen, and he’d missed so much of her childhood, he probably would have preferred she stay at home and unmarried just a little longer.

Sokka certainly would have preferred she stay at home, at least. With the chief’s daughter being married off to a foreign country, that increased the pressure on him to move back to the south pole more permanently. Katara knew this was not something Suki was eager to see happen, but that was for the two of them to work out now.

Aang, of course, didn’t understand her decision at all.

But the proposed alliance was for the benefit of the Southern Water Tribe more than anyone else, at least directly, so if the refusal had come from them - from her - the other nations would have understood. They would have renegotiated, found some other candidate to be an acceptably humiliating bride to force upon the young Fire Lord.

Katara could have said no, but she had agreed. Zuko, on the other hand, had had no choice. She could only hope that he would forgive her for that.

* * *

Zuko hadn’t realized what he was getting himself into.

Peace, as it turned out, was an ongoing process that required a lot more than just ending the war. A century of hostility couldn’t be forgotten overnight, or resolved with a single treaty. Throughout the first four years of his reign as Fire Lord, there had been endless negotiations, international summits, trade agreements, military agreements, even spiritual agreements. The Avatar vouched for Zuko, and so the heads of the other nations were willing to work with him, but the Earth King didn’t quite trust him, and the chief of the Northern Water Tribe even less so.

Their reasons were, regrettably, understandable. 

But Zuko was no stranger to working hard to make amends, to earn back trust. He had done it on his own behalf before, and now he was doing it on behalf of his entire nation. He was willing to do whatever it took, for the sake of his people, and for peace.

He was even willing to let the other nations choose a wife for him.

At first, Aang had kept him updated, off the record, about how those discussions were going. It had to be a bride from outside the Fire Nation, of course, to promote international cooperation. But Chief Arnook didn’t want to see the Fire Lord married into a powerful Earth Kingdom family and the Water Tribes shut out of the alliance, nor did the Earth King want him to have a bride from the north, for much the same reasons. They’d work something out eventually, Aang had assured him.

And then, when he’d said no more on the subject, Zuko had assumed the negotiations had simply stalled, until the Southern Water Tribe ambassador had presented him with the betrothal contract all drawn up and only waiting for his signature and seal. Katara had already agreed.

Zuko could see the logic in their choice, even if he hadn’t anticipated it. The daughter of a chief, Katara technically had noble standing, but coming from the weakest of the nations, she brought little advantage to the Fire Nation. It would be a very one-sided alliance, benefitting the Southern Water Tribe without posing a danger to anyone else.

It was meant to humiliate him, and it worked, though not for the reasons they had intended. Zuko didn’t mind supporting Katara’s tribe - spirits knew his people had a debt to pay to hers. But it was hard for him to imagine a worse torment than a cold political marriage with the woman he secretly loved.

* * *

It was a warm day when Katara returned to the Fire Nation. At least, it felt warm to her, though she knew from experience it could get a lot hotter in the tropical nation. Like the rest of the party that had sailed north, Katara had long since shed the thick furs of their homeland, and was that day wearing a short-sleeved dress of fine blue silk. She wasn’t sure how much longer she would be able to wear the color.

“Are you nervous?” her father asked her as their ship pulled into the harbor. No burning gates this time, but Katara couldn’t help but feel there would be a different sort of hostility awaiting her - from Zuko, if not from his people.

“Not at all,” she lied. No reason to make her father have any second thoughts about leaving her here to the fate she had chosen.

Hakoda did not seem convinced. “It’s only natural if you are.” He put an arm around her shoulders, drawing her to his side. “This is no small thing you’ve agreed to do.”

Katara returned the hug gratefully. “I know, Dad.” It was no small thing, but she had agreed to do it. She had that, at least.

When they finally reached the palace, the whole Southern Water Tribe delegation - Chief Hakoda, Sokka, Katara, Gran Gran, and several of the warriors - were shown into an audience chamber with paneled walls, painted with dragons and cherry blossoms. It had been nearly two years since Katara had last been to the palace, but she couldn’t recall having seen this room before. She rather liked it, as it was less imposing than many of the other rooms she remembered. She hoped that was a good sign, that Zuko had chosen this room for their reunion because it was more welcoming.

But of course, when the Fire Lord joined them, she hardly got the chance to ask him. Her father was the visiting head of state, so Zuko had to greet him first. And as the very next order of business, even if it was a mere formality given that the betrothal contract had already been signed, Zuko had to officially ask her father for permission to marry her.

“Chief Hakoda,” Zuko said, his face schooled into an unreadable mask. “Would you allow me the honor of marrying your daughter?”

Some honor, Katara thought. An impoverished, foreign Fire Lady was not likely to be seen as a positive mark on his reign.

“My only daughter is a great treasure,” Hakoda replied. Katara swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. “But I would gladly entrust her to you.”

Her father and Zuko clasped arms, symbolically sealing the arrangement. The ritual required no input from her, but Katara knew better than to allow herself any offense at this. The reality of the situation, after all, was quite the opposite. 

* * *

When the formal reception was out of the way, Katara was allowed to spend some supervised time walking the palace gardens arm in arm with her new betrothed.

Iroh and Gran Gran were perfect chaperones, following them at a discrete enough distance to allow them to converse with privacy, while always keeping them in sight to maintain propriety. Katara found it funny that this was seen as necessary. She had been alone with Zuko any number of times, after all - but that had been before he was the Fire Lord, and before she was the future Fire Lady. Court protocol was something she supposed she would have to get used to. It was what she had signed up for.

That thought made a knot form in Katara’s stomach, and she ducked her head as they stopped in front of the turtle duck pond. “Zuko,” she said softly. “I am sorry about all this.”

The arm under her hand tensed. “You’re sorry?” Zuko echoed. Katara glanced up to see his frown. “Why?”

“I know you didn’t really have a choice,” she explained, letting go of his arm to fiddle with her mother’s necklace - her  _ grandmother’s _ necklace. “But I did, so...in a way, I’m forcing you into this too, I suppose.”

Zuko was quiet for a moment, staring at her. His frown hadn’t changed, and Katara would have shrunk under the intensity of his eyes if she didn’t know him so well. When at last he spoke, there was a strained tone to his voice. “Why did you agree to marry me, Katara?”

“Well, to keep the peace, of course,” Katara replied dutifully, though they both knew there was more to it than that. “And for the good of my tribe.” He could have easily guessed that as well. In fact, she had hoped that all her reasons would be plain to him. “But also…”

“Also?” Zuko prompted when she hesitated. He was leaning towards her - looming over her, really, though the days were long ago when that would have intimidated her.

Katara squared her shoulders. She was going to marry this man. She had no reason not to be honest with him. “Also because you’re my friend.”

Zuko blinked, and his frown deepened. “Your  _ friend?”  _

“Well, yes,” Katara replied. “I knew if I said no, they’d just pick someone else, and I thought at least this way you wouldn’t have to marry a total stranger.”

Zuko looked away, towards the turtle ducks. “This…” His voice was rough, and he swallowed before he went on. “This is an act of  _ friendship _ to you?”

He sounded so devastated. The knot of guilt in her stomach tightened. “I...I  _ am _ sorry, Zuko…”

“Don’t apologize,” Zuko cut her off, still not looking at her. There was another long stretch of silence between them, as Katara wondered what else she could say, but Zuko was the one to speak again first. “You’ve had a long journey. I’m sure you need to rest.” He took a step back, giving her a formal bow. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

And with that, her betrothed took his leave.

* * *

Iroh found him in the training rooms that afternoon, hurling angry and admittedly sloppy blasts of fire at no one.

“Oh dear,” his uncle commented mildly. “And I had thought things were going so well.”

Zuko halted his exercises, breathing hard, to glare at his uncle. “Things are going just fine.”

“Not if you’re firebending like that, they aren’t,” Iroh replied pointedly. Zuko let out a growl of frustration and stalked away from him, grabbing a towel on his way out of the training room and slinging it over his shoulder as he headed back towards the Fire Lord’s apartments.

Iroh, of course, followed him through the corridors - which, here in the more private wing of the palace, were mercifully deserted. “You know, you offended your fiancée earlier,” he continued, his tone verging on scolding. “I think she’s worried you are angry with her.”

Reaching the door to his apartments, Zuko yanked it open with more force than necessary, but did not acknowledge his uncle’s comments. Iroh trailed him through the sitting room and watched as he repeated the performance on the door to his bedroom. “Are you angry with her?” he asked.

Zuko ran the towel over his face, then hurled it at the window seat across from his bed. “No, I’m not angry with  _ her,”  _ he bit back.

“But you  _ are  _ angry with the situation in general,” Iroh surmised. “Being forced into a marriage you don’t want…”

Zuko almost could have laughed. He wanted this marriage alright; that was the whole problem. He wanted it more than he had any right to, and she… “She’s doing this for selfless reasons,” he said aloud. “And I’m angry at  _ myself _ because I...I can’t stop being selfish.”

Iroh arched one eyebrow, just slightly. “You are making your own sacrifices, just as she is.”

“No, it’s…” Zuko looked away, towards the window, which afforded a sweeping view of the very gardens where he and Katara had been walking earlier. The same gardens his mother had always loved, that his father had neglected after her disappearance. “It’s not the same for me.”

“And why is that?” Iroh probed gently.

Zuko instinctively reached for the scar in the middle of his abdomen, knuckles kneading the smooth flesh, so different from the scar on his face. “Because I…” He couldn’t say it. Even to Uncle Iroh, he couldn’t admit it out loud.

But his uncle understood anyway. “Zuko…” Iroh stepped closer, placing one hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “If that is how you feel, shouldn’t you tell her?”

“No!” Zuko protested roughly, dropping his hand and curling it into a fist. “Telling her would make it look like I expected her to...feel that way about me. And I know she doesn’t.” He shook his head. “I can’t put that kind of pressure on her, not when she’s already done so much…”

Iroh sighed, forcibly turning Zuko about to face him. “Your concern for Katara is admirable. But I wonder how long you will really be able to hide your feelings from her?” He glanced pointedly to the left, and Zuko, following his uncle’s gaze, felt his face flush.

On that side of the Fire Lord’s bedchamber was the door that connected to the corresponding room in the Fire Lady’s apartments. It had always been closed and locked, for there had not been a Fire Lady in years and those apartments had long stood empty.

But very soon, that would not be the case anymore.


	2. Counterpart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I've got more after all.
> 
> The prompt was "counterpart" and I just finished reading Theology of the Body, so yes, I am blaming Pope Saint John Paul II for this one.

“The Fire Lord is as a father to his people, to rule and guide them and secure their prosperity for future generations,” Lady Noru intoned solemnly. Across the table from her, Katara nodded, trying to look dignified and respectful of her tutor. The last thing she needed was to make a bad impression. “The Fire Lady,” the middle-aged woman went on in the same tone, “is the Fire Lord’s counterpart in all things. They must work together.” She fixed Katara with a sharp eye. “You understand what this means?”

“She is a mother to the people,” Katara replied with confidence. She knew that much. Zuko might not have written to her in any great detail once their betrothal contract had been signed - a definitive break with the close correspondence they had kept up for the last four years - but he had sent her plenty of reading material to get a head start on preparing for her new role.

“And so you shall be,” Lady Noru declared. Hopefully not a hated step-mother, Katara thought, but Lady Noru of course said nothing of the sort. “Do not expect a life of leisure,” she warned. “We do not coddle our women in the Fire Nation.”

“Nor do we in the Water Tribes,” Katara said pointedly. A life of leisure was something she had never known at the south pole, and Katara’s own mother and grandmother had worked just as hard as her father, for their family and for their tribe.

Lady Noru nodded in the first sign of her approval. “You will be expected to support the Fire Lord in all his work,” she explained, folding her hands neatly in her lap. “Certain areas are traditional, such as organizing the capital city festivals, but the Fire Lord may delegate any number of tasks to you, and seek your advice on many more.”

Katara had read all this as well. She got the impression her tutor was testing her, watching carefully for any hint of weakness. Katara was determined to show none. “I will try to advise him well.”

“That is what we are here to help you do,” Lady Noru replied dryly. Katara hoped that counted as passing that test. “However, the most important task that falls before you both is to secure the line of succession.” Lady Noru arched one painted eyebrow. “I hope you will not need instruction in that area?”

Katara blushed and stammered that she did not.  _ That _ had not been in the scrolls Zuko had sent, at least not so explicitly. But Lady Noru thankfully did not comment on her flustered reaction, and moved on with her actual lessons. These filled the rest of her afternoon - Fire Nation history and law and culture, everything she would need to know to support the Fire Lord in ruling his country.

Dinner that evening was a formal affair again, with all of her family present, so when Zuko had politely asked her how her first day with Lady Noru had gone, she couldn’t say anything like what was really on her mind. She didn’t know when she would get the chance, since every time she saw Zuko now it was either in mixed company or with her grandmother and his uncle present. Not to mention, she didn’t think he was feeling particularly conversational towards her these days.

But that night, as she lay awake under the spell of the full moon, she had plenty of time to think about it.

Katara had dated Aang, if their brief childish flirtations could even be called that. Chaste kisses, holding hands, the thrill of referring to him as “my boyfriend” - it hadn’t lasted the year. Aang had too much growing up to do still, and Katara had already done more than her share. Or so she had thought, but now she realized  _ this _ was one area in which she was still very much an uninitiated young girl.

She wasn’t naïve. She knew what marriage entailed, what was implied by those words  _ husband  _ and  _ wife _ that made  _ boyfriend  _ and  _ girlfriend _ seem frivolous by comparison. She had delivered babies and was fully aware of where they came from. But…

Zuko and Mai had dated for two years, not counting the time they were together before the war ended. And Katara remembered they had been...handsy. Not shy about each other. She didn’t  _ know,  _ of course, because it had been none of her business at the time, but she had made certain tacit assumptions. Things were different in the Fire Nation than in the Water Tribes. Expectations were different.

Now Zuko might have  _ expectations _ about her.

Rolling over with a sigh, Katara threw off the light bedcovers and got up and dressed. Sometimes, when the moon was full like this, there was nothing for it but to answer its call. There were several ponds in the palace gardens that would do just the trick, so that was where she headed.

Once outside under the moonlight, Katara felt more at ease, at the height of her power at least as far as her bending was concerned. She ran through a few katas, then did some more freestyle bending just for the fun of it. At last she sat down in the grass by the pond’s edge and simply made different shapes with the water in one hand.

“Trouble sleeping?” Zuko’s voice startled her, and she dropped the water back into the pond. But he was not unwelcome, and if he was actually willing to talk to her when he didn’t have to, Katara considered that an improvement. She turned to face him with a smile.

“Full moon,” she said, pointing up to the sky as if that were the only reason. “What are  _ you _ still doing up, Mister I-Rise-With-The-Sun?”

Zuko shrugged. “Bad dreams.” Unlike her, he hadn’t bothered to dress before coming outside, and was still barefoot and in his night clothes. His hair was also loose - it had gotten so much longer these days, which she supposed was more traditional.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katara asked sympathetically.

Zuko sat down next to her in the grass, and waved a hand at the left side of his face. “You know.”

Katara reached out and took his hand. “Still?”

“Less often,” he replied with half a smile, clearly forced. “But yeah, sometimes.”

Katara touched her necklace with her free hand. “Me too,” she said softly. “Not as much as I used to. But I still get them from time to time.”

Zuko’s forced smile faded as his eyes followed her hand to the pendant resting against the hollow of her throat. “I wish she could have been here,” he said, squeezing her hand in return. Strange, how quickly her comforting him could turn to him comforting her. “To see you get married.”

Katara smiled wistfully at the thought of her mother in the Fire Nation royal palace, a startling and impossible dream that hurt for how much she wished it were so, as much as for how it should never have been. “To see  _ us _ get married, you mean?” she teased.

Zuko blushed under the moonlight. “Yeah.”

Buoyed by the moon’s power, and by thoughts of her mother, Katara rallied her courage. She let go of Zuko’s hand, and shifted in the grass to face him fully. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Zuko replied, looking out at the smooth surface of the pond. Since the turtleducks were sleeping, there was nothing to disturb its glassy sheen. “Ask away.”

Katara took a deep breath. “Why do we need chaperones?”

Zuko flushed deeper, still not meeting her eye. “You...don’t know why we need chaperones?”

“No!” Katara hastily corrected. “I mean, yes, I know what the point of a chaperone is. If we were courting back home we’d have them, too.” Feeling her momentary boldness flagging, Katara drew her knees to her chest. “But you…”

“I what?” Zuko asked when she trailed off. Katara hugged her knees, and didn’t answer. Zuko nudged her with his elbow. “Come on, it can’t be worse than anything you’ve said to me before.”

“You never had a chaperone,” Katara said, her voice tight and clipped. “With Mai.”

To her surprise, Zuko only nodded and said, “I wasn’t going to marry her.”

“But you were dating!” Katara protested.

Zuko shook his head. “It wasn’t the same. If we had gotten engaged, we would have had chaperones. But no one really expected us to.”

“You dated her for two years with no intention of marrying her?” Katara wished she didn’t sound so scandalized, like some fussy old woman, or worse, like she was trying to act like Zuko’s mom. But she couldn’t hide her shock.

“Not  _ no _ intention,” Zuko said defensively. “I thought, maybe…” He shrugged again, dismissive. “But it was always a long shot.”

“Is that a common thing, in the Fire Nation?” Katara asked, perhaps just a touch judgemental. “Dating without thinking you might get married?”

Zuko seemed to notice her tone, and take offense. He gave her a withering look. “Did you think you were going to marry Aang?”

“That barely counts,” Katara shot back, then pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t change the subject.”

Zuko deflated a little. “Well, yeah,” he admitted sheepishly, running one hand through his long hair. “It is, uh, kind of expected, actually. Before you get married you’re supposed to, you know, sow your wild oats.”

Katara had never heard the expression before, but its crass meaning was readily apparent. “Oh,” she said icily, sitting up a bit straighter. “I knew things were...different here, but I didn’t realize…”

“It’s a stupid idea,” Zuko said sullenly to the ground.

“You don’t have to make excuses to me,” Katara replied archly. Her face felt hot, and she realized she was probably blushing as much as Zuko was, but she blustered on. “I’m not bothered by it, just because you’ve sown your wild rice…”

“Oats,” Zuko corrected her, then cleared his throat. “And I haven’t. Sown any, that is.”

“Oh,” Katara repeated dumbly. “ _ Oh. _ You and Mai?”

“Never really needed a chaperone anyway,” he said wryly. Then, in a lower voice, “Much to her disappointment.”

A new thought occurred to Katara. “That wasn’t why she left, was it?” She regretted asking the question as soon as it was out of her mouth - none of her business then, and still none of her business now, even if she was Zuko’s new intended. Or, apparently, as she had just learned, his  _ first _ intended.

Zuko’s answer was cagey, but he surprised her by answering at all. “Not entirely.”

If she thought Zuko had been blushing before, he must have been absolutely scarlet by now - though of course the moonlight softened the color. Katara couldn’t help herself. She laughed.

“I’m glad this is amusing to you,” Zuko muttered, picking at the grass between them.

“I’m sorry,” Katara offered, trying to collect herself. “It’s just that...here I was worrying you were so much more  _ experienced _ than I was, and it turns out we have a lot more in common than I thought.”

Zuko looked up, startled. “That’s not why you and Aang…”

“No!” Katara gasped. “Oh spirits, no, we were so young it probably never even occurred to him.” She fought off another wave of giggles, with only partial success. “I just meant, you and I have the same level of experience after all.”

“None?” Zuko asked dryly, still not sharing her amusement.

“None,” Katara confirmed.

Zuko lifted one shoulder in a half shrug, tilting his head to the side. “Does that bother you?”

“I just told you I was worried about the opposite,” Katara pointed out. She’d thought she had made it clear that her laughing fit was born of relief.

“Yeah but I thought…” Zuko let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, at least Fire Nation women kind of prefer an experienced husband. Or so I’ve heard.”

Katara tried not to think about where he might have heard that, though several options presented themselves, not least disturbing of which was his uncle. “I’m not a Fire Nation woman,” she said, instead of asking him something she  _ really  _ didn’t want to know.

Zuko held her eyes with his own. “I know.” He still looked flushed, and she still felt the same, but something in that simple response was so earnest, so trusting, it made her feel both more and less comfortable at the same time, if that was even possible. Like he was an open book to her, while remaining a great mystery, and she the same to him.

Not flinching from his gaze, Katara tried to explain. “In the Water Tribes, it’s not about the experience. Or not so much, anyway. It’s supposed to be…” She held out both of her hands in front of her, palms up. “A husband and wife give themselves completely to each other, you know?” She brought her hands together, clasping them as if in prayer. “It’s not something to be taken lightly.”

Zuko clasped his hands around hers. “I don’t take it lightly.” His voice was soft but firm.

“Me neither,” Katara whispered back.

Zuko broke their eye contact first, looking down at their hands, then pulled away from that contact as well. The night air felt that much cooler for the absence of his warmth. “You don’t have to…” He faltered. “You know you’ll have your own bedroom, even after the wedding.”

“I know,” Katara replied, letting her hands fall into her lap. “But I will be your wife, and you will be my husband. And,” she added, trying to lighten the mood just a little. “At  _ some _ point I think your people would like an heir to the throne.”

Zuko finally gave a little snort of laughter. “They can wait.”

“They’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” Katara joked, but then frowned. “Unless... _ you _ don’t want…”

Zuko had gone back to picking at the grass. He pulled up a shoot, tossed it into the pond where it made faint ripples in the silvery reflected moonlight, and then rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you think waiting will make it...easier?”

Katara considered this. It was true, there was nothing to stop them from taking things as slowly as they wanted. But there were some expectations that held, even in the Fire Nation, and if they flouted that convention, she wasn’t sure they would ever be sure where they stood. “I don’t think so,” she said at last. “It seems like we’d just be walking on eggshells if we don’t, um, take the obvious opportunity.” She didn’t say the words  _ wedding night _ , but she knew she didn’t need to. “Best to get it over with, right?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “Well, if  _ that’s _ how you feel about it, that’s not much of a confidence boost.” But she could see the twitch at the corners of his mouth.

Katara swatted him on the arm. “You know what I mean!” she said indignantly, though there was a smile tugging at her lips, too. “It’s better to do things properly, don’t you agree?” But his face fell, and he was silent for a long time. “Zuko?” she asked tentatively.

“I agree,” he said softly, then got to his feet. “Which means you should get back inside before your  _ chaperone _ finds you out of bed, full moon or no full moon.” Gallantly, he offered her his hand.

Katara laughed again, still as much with relief as with humor. “You’re probably right.” Taking his hand, she stood as well, and offered the man who would soon be her husband one last smile. “Good night, Zuko.”

Again, the long pause. But finally he replied in kind, “Good night, Katara.” Then he let go of her hand.

She made her way across the garden, heading back inside the palace. The full moon’s power still thrummed in her veins, but she slept easier for having cleared the air with Zuko. The Fire Lady was the Fire Lord’s counterpart, her tutor had told her. They had to work together. 

It was good to know that even in this strange circumstance in which they found themselves, and no matter how much Zuko might resent the corner he had been backed into, she could still talk to him, and they could still tell each other anything.


	3. Fuse

_ Wedding T Minus 3 Days _

More and more people were beginning to arrive. Nobles from the outlying provinces, dignitaries from the other nations, most of the White Lotus members, and of course the Avatar himself all gathered in the Fire Nation capital to celebrate this momentous event, the first international marriage of state in generations. It was to be a day for the history books.

“I never would have thought Katara would be marrying you,” Aang told him on the day he arrived. He had dragged Zuko down to the komodo rhino stables - Aang always loved visiting the animals - and was petting the leathery snout of one of the beasts. Zuko, who didn’t have quite Aang’s way with the temperamental creatures, kept a safe distance.

He frowned, not sure how to take his friend’s comment. “Me neither,” he responded truthfully. He might have  _ wanted _ it, might have hoped for it in his wildest dreams, but certainly never thought it would actually happen. Aang didn’t need to know that much detail, though.

The Avatar slipped the beast he was petting a lump of sugar and moved on to the next stall. This komodo rhino was a skittish yearling, and eyed him warily at first. But when Aang produced another treat from his pocket and spoke a few gentle words, it soon came docilely to his hand as well. “I’m not jealous,” Aang said matter-of-factly.

_ Yes, you are, _ Zuko thought. Katara might speak of her brief romantic relationship with him as a childish fling of little consequence, but Aang himself had never been able to move on so easily. Still, Zuko knew his friend was trying - had been trying, for Katara’s sake - and he gave him credit for that. So instead, he asked, “What happened with that girl from Ba Sing Se?”

Aang pulled a face, which spoke volumes. “I think she just wanted to be with me because I’m the Avatar, you know?” He scratched the juvenile komodo rhino under its chin, and the animal licked his hand - perhaps returning the affection, or perhaps just searching for traces of sugar. “There’s a lot of girls like that, actually,” Aang went on. “Attracted to power. Won’t stop throwing themselves at me. It's a bit annoying, really.”

“Yeah, that sounds terrible,” Zuko joked. But he knew what Aang meant. Having spent the last two years as a single head of state, there had been plenty of young ladies, and some not so young, who had made a pass at him for similar reasons - but never the one he wanted. And Aang was in the same situation. Very much the same, actually.

Except Zuko was the one getting to marry Katara, and he hadn’t done a thing to deserve it.

“I know you’ll be good to her,” Aang said, cutting off Zuko’s thoughts as he brought the conversation back to the original subject. “Because you’re you.” This was high praise, coming from Aang, and Zuko felt his heart swell with gratitude. But Aang pressed his forehead to the young komodo rhino’s face and added in a small voice, “Do you think she’ll be happy?”

That was the real question. Zuko thought - he hoped - that Katara would not be unhappy. She had said they were friends, after all. It wasn’t like she hated him, and she didn’t seem to blame him for their situation. He knew she would do her best to fulfill all her duties as Fire Lady, both political and personal, without complaint, for the good of her people and for the sake of peace. But could she ever truly be happy with him?

“I don’t know, Aang,” he answered honestly. “She’ll be as happy as I can make her.”

Aang gave a little chuckle, raising his head. “Right. Of course.” After one last pat, he let go of the young komodo rhino, then brushed his hands off on the front of his shirt. “Maybe I should ask the council of nations to pick me a wife next,” he tried to joke.

Playing along was the easiest thing to do. “They might make you marry Toph,” Zuko deadpanned.

That, at least, got a genuine laugh out of Aang.

* * *

_ Wedding T Minus 2 Days _

“It’s not too late, you know,” Sokka said to her casually, over afternoon tea.

Katara raised an eyebrow, looking at her brother over the rim of her teacup. “Not too late for what?”

“If you want to ditch this whole thing,” Sokka explained, making a circular gesture with the cucuchocke sandwich held daintily between his thumb and forefinger. “Bail on the wedding and skip town. I’ll cover for you. Gran Gran will help, too.” He took a bite of the sandwich, chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then spoke with his mouth full. “Dad might not be thrilled but he’d come around.”

Katara set down her teacup. “Have you discussed this with Gran Gran?”

Sokka popped the rest of the sandwich in his mouth. “‘f course,” he replied indistinctly, then mercifully finished chewing and swallowed before he spoke again. “Gran Gran’s the expert on running out on arranged marriages.”

“Ah, but if I follow her example,” Katara said with a teasing grin. “I’ll just end up married to Zuko when we’re old and gray anyway.”

“Well, sure,” Sokka said with a shrug. “If you  _ choose _ that.”

Katara sighed, losing the heart for joking about this matter anymore. “I appreciate the sentiment, Sokka. Really, I do.” She ran one finger around the rim of her teacup, swirling the contents with her bending so they made a little tea whirlpool. “But I  _ chose _ this.”

“You know that’s not what I mean,” Sokka argued, leaning forward with one elbow on the table. He gave her a scrutinizing look. “You’re not following your heart on this one.”

Katara’s hand stilled, then she covered the top of her teacup with the palm of her hand. She knew Sokka hadn’t meant it as an accusation, but her brother was usually the practical one in the family, not a romantic, so that’s how it sounded. “It’s not like I’m in love with someone else, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No, it’s not that,” Sokka said with a wave of his hand. “Are you really not concerned at all about your own happiness, Katara? Because sometimes I think you’re so used to putting everyone else first, you forget you even have feelings of your own.”

“I’m doing what I think is best,” Katara said definitively. “That makes me happy.” Lifting her cup again, she tried to lighten the conversation. “And come on, it’s not like Zuko is so terrible. I do like him.” 

“But you’re not in love with him,” Sokka pressed her.

“No, I’m not,” Katara agreed. She took a careful sip of her tea. “You don’t have to be in love with someone to marry them.”

“Maybe not,” Sokka allowed, picking up his own cup. “I’ve heard it helps, though.” He pointed at her with the index finger of the hand holding the cup. “But as long as you’re sure…”

“I am,” Katara replied.

Sokka shrugged, and knocked back the rest of his tea in one gulp.

* * *

_ Wedding T Minus 1 Day _

The last of the wedding guests to arrive was the one that was most important to Zuko: his mother.

She came alone, unfortunately, and could not stay long - Azula had trouble with crowds, and long separations still made her anxious, so his mother would return to Ember Island the day after the wedding. Still, that meant she had two days to spend with her son - and with his soon to be wife.

Katara and his mother had always gotten along famously. It had been a sore point, in fact, when she had joined their quest to find her. Azula had been jealous of how easily the other girl bonded with Ursa, and Zuko knew that Katara had refrained from writing directly to his mother in the last few years out of concern for his sister’s feelings. She and Ursa had exchanged only casual pleasantries through their letters to him, which he always passed along.  _ Send your mother my best. Give Katara my love. _

Still, when they were reunited that morning, they hit it off like old friends. “Katara, you look lovelier than ever!” his mother exclaimed, immediately drawing her into a hug.

Katara blushed at the compliment, making her look lovelier still, in Zuko’s opinion. “Thank you, Princess Ursa,” she said politely. “You’re looking very well yourself.”

“Oh please, you’ll have to get used to just calling me Ursa soon enough,” his mother chided playfully, tossing a wink in Zuko’s direction. She knew better than to presume on Katara calling her  _ Mom. _

“Okay then,” Katara said with a genuine smile. “Ursa, I’d like you to meet my grandmother, Kanna.”

With Katara’s grandmother drawn into their little circle of conversation, Uncle Iroh soon suggested to Zuko that they could leave them to it - there were still the final preparations for tomorrow’s ceremonies that needed his attention, and the women doubtless had their own anticipatory rituals to observe. Zuko readily acquiesced, but later, after he was done with the last fitting for his wedding robes, his mother came and found him in his office.

“I like her,” Ursa declared as soon as she had closed the door behind her.

Zuko smiled, setting aside the paperwork he had been reading. “You’ve always liked her.”

“I like her as my future daughter-in-law,” Ursa specified.

Zuko couldn’t help an ironic chuckle. “It must be nice to have in-laws you will like for a change.” 

His mother gave him a stern look, but could not deny it. In their younger days, she had even been one of the few people who had not particularly cared for Iroh - something she and his father had had in common. But soon her expression softened. “What about you?” she asked, stepping closer. “Do you like her?”

Zuko stood up from behind his desk and guided his mother over to the window seat - like the one in his bedroom, it overlooked her favorite gardens. They sat down together, and she took hold of both of his hands.

“Of course I like her,” Zuko replied. “Katara is a very good friend.” He knew that wasn’t what she was asking, but it wasn’t an untruthful answer.

His mother was not satisfied. “But do you like her as your future wife?”

“Mom,” Zuko complained, pulling one hand from her grip to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You know this is a political marriage.”

“I know,” his mother said patiently, undeterred. “But do you like her?”

Zuko frowned, pulling his other hand away and crossing his arms. “What difference does it make?” he asked. It wasn’t what the world expected of him or what Katara wanted from him, and his mother of all people should know better. “Did you like Dad?” He threw the question at her defensively, a distraction.

Ursa’s gentle smile faded, and Zuko instantly felt guilty. “Mom, I’m sorry…” But she held up a hand to silence him.

“I loved your father very much,” she said frankly, “when we got married.” When they got married, yes, but not, went the unsaid implication, anymore. Not that Zuko could blame her. “But I hope you will be happier than we were.”

That wasn’t saying much, Zuko thought. His parents - his family - might have been happy once, but everything that had happened since outweighed those distant good memories. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder... “Did he love you?”

Ursa sighed, folding her hands in her lap and looking away, towards the gardens below the window. From this angle, the dragon fountain she had loved was just visible. “As much as he was capable of loving anyone, I think he did.”

“So that wasn’t what was important, then,” Zuko concluded bitterly. His parents’ feelings for each other hadn’t saved their marriage, or their children. “Love didn’t matter at all.”

“Oh, Zuko,” his mother said, reaching for him again. This time she caressed the right side of his face. “Your feelings do matter.”

“I…” His eyes drifted to look out the window, at the gardens, but in his mind he saw the courtyard that was far away on the other side of the palace, the sky on fire, lightning streaking towards Katara. “I do love her, Mom,” he admitted at last, his voice little more than a reverent whisper. “I love her so much and...it’s not enough.”

Having said the words out loud should have lifted a weight from his chest, but instead the secret only pressed more heavily on his heart. Of course, his mother was not the one he really wanted to tell. 

Ursa seemed to read his mind. “Have you told her?” she asked, taking hold of his hand again.

Zuko shook his head.

“When you do…” his mother began.

“I can’t,” he interrupted. Admitting the truth to her hadn’t changed the situation, hadn’t made it any less unfair to Katara.

“But when you do,” his mother went on anyway, resolute. “I think it will make things better, for both of you. It will help her to understand, at least.” Squeezing his hand, she added in a softer tone, “You are not your father, Zuko. And Katara is not like me. Your future is yours to make, together.”

* * *

_ Wedding Day _

Katara had known from the moment she had signed the betrothal contract that she would be married in the Fire Nation style, and that meant everything from the ceremony to her dress to the food served at the banquet afterwards. And she had been right, on the whole. Everything was done in the Fire Nation style, for the Fire Lord’s wedding could not be otherwise, but she was surprised just how many accommodations had been made.

The ceremony was to be conducted by the fire sages with all the traditional rites observed, but also with the addition of the binding of the couple’s hands that was a Water Tribe practice. Cooks from both the north and south poles had been brought in to assist with the food for the wedding banquet. And her dress, while distinctly Fire Nation, had blue as well as gold accents, and waves as well as flames embroidered on the sleeves.

That morning, Katara was so nervous, the hours passed in a blur - servants buzzing around her with bath salts, towels, and dainty morsels to eat, brushes and hair pins and makeup and jewelry and so many other things. Gran Gran was by her side though it all - and, she was sure, would have come to her aid in an instant if she had decided to bolt, true to Sokka’s word. But Katara had no intention of running away from this.

Still, it seemed as if she had just blinked, and found herself arrayed in all her wedding finery, being told that it was time.

The ceremony was long, full of rituals laden with ancient symbolism, but the one Katara would remember most distinctly was the lighting of the nuptial candle. It was a tall, sturdy pillar of wax, designed to last for many years to come - Zuko had explained to her that they were supposed to light it again each year on their anniversary. The body of the candle was always white, but could be decorated differently for each couple. Theirs had a pattern of red and blue dragons.

Katara found her eyes fixed on the candle flame as the chief fire sage intoned the prayers over it. The flame burned straight and steady on the neatly trimmed wick, while little streams of red and blue ran into the pool of liquid wax around it. The bright colors swirled, met, fused into violet - but were always drawn to the flame and consumed in the end.

When the sage’s prayers were finished, her father came forward to bind their hands with a dark blue cord. The knots were loose, and the cord velvet, but the ties were real. They spoke their vows to each other, and neither’s voice wavered. Then the chief sage bid the Fire Lord to kiss his wife.

Zuko met her eye, offered the faintest smile - almost apologetic - and pressed his lips to hers for the first time. The kiss was brief - not hasty or reluctant, but no longer than necessary. The crowd of witnesses continued to cheer and applaud as he pulled away, though Katara thought the Fire Nation dignitaries were less enthusiastic than those of the other nations. She had known, too, when she signed the contract, that this would be the case.

Another ceremony followed immediately on from the wedding - her coronation. There had not been a Fire Lady crowned since Zuko’s grandmother, and even most of the Fire Nation nobles in attendance witnessed the rites for the first time that day as Zuko pinned the golden crown into her hair.

Katara had hoped that once the ceremonies were done, and they moved on to the banquet, she would be able to relax a little. But there were so many guests to greet, congratulations and well wishes to receive, speeches and toasts to listen to - time continued to slip past her until she had blinked again and found herself standing in the Fire Lady’s bedroom - her bedroom - dressed in a brand new nightgown, the last of the servants closing the door behind her with a definitive click.

And on the other side of the bed stood Zuko.

Everything immediately caught up with her and, heart pounding, she had to sit down - which she did, on the bed, somewhat inelegantly, but still facing him - her husband - and not running away.

“Do you want me to go?” Zuko asked gently, one hand gesturing in the direction of another door, the one that she knew led to his own room.

Katara shook her head resolutely.

Zuko sat down opposite her on the bed, more slowly than her graceless collapse. “Are you sure?”

She offered him a shaky smile, and found her voice. “Best to get it over with.”

To her relief, Zuko laughed, and reached over to tuck a lock of her loose hair behind her ear. “You really know just what to say, don’t you.” He let his hand rest against the side of her face, then brought the other up to join it. He was looking at her that way again, like he had that night in the garden -  _ open _ was the only word to describe it, and she felt like she could see into his very soul, but would never in a lifetime begin to understand what she saw.

He leaned in to kiss her again, and this time did not pull away.


	4. Celestial

Even the Fire Lord and Fire Lady were allowed to take a break from work when they got married, so Zuko and Katara had set out the next day for a small island just north of the mainland that was home to one of the royal family’s many private residences. “Private” was a bit of an exaggeration, in Katara’s opinion - the large house still had a full staff of servants, and the islanders came to the front yard on their first day there to pay tribute to the royal couple, with song and firebending displays and a whole cask of their best local vintage. But even if there were people coming and going, they all knew enough to give the newlyweds space.

Katara had wondered if it would be awkward, just her and Zuko. She enjoyed his company, of course, but it was useless to pretend that nothing was different between them now. And there were moments of awkwardness, as they navigated those uncharted waters together. But she was pleased to discover that all the good things about their friendship were still there - they could still talk to each other, tease each other and share dumb jokes, and practice their bending together. And even some of those awkward moments, well...Katara didn’t think they were all bad.

The island itself was beautiful, with lush forests and dramatic waterfalls. But Katara preferred the beaches, where the ocean breeze cut through the tropical heat and the crystal blue surf beat relentlessly against the black volcanic sand. It was idyllic during the day, but when she dragged Zuko back down to the shore on the second night of their honeymoon, she discovered it was even more magnificent under the stars.

“What makes it glow like that?” she asked in awe, sitting down in the sand where the breaking waves could just reach her feet. The water looked perfectly ordinary when it touched her, and when she bent a handful of it experimentally, but further out the sea was lit up a brilliant aquamarine, almost like when she used her bending to heal.

“I think it’s something that lives in the water,” Zuko replied, sitting down next to her. “Or a lot of things. They’re so small, you can’t see them during the day, but at night they give off that light.” He shrugged, arms resting on his knees. “There’s a name for it, but I forget.”

“It’s amazing,” Katara breathed, leaning forward to dip her hands as well as her feet in the waves. The sea always called to her, but tonight it was especially mesmerizing. She fought the urge to leap up and run headlong into the glowing surf.

“Even you shouldn’t swim at night,” Zuko chided, reading her thoughts.

“Oh please,” Katara said, giving him a look. “No one knows better than a master waterbender to respect the power of the ocean.”

“True,” Zuko conceded, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear again. He had been doing that a lot, at first with the lightest possible touch, but gradually letting his fingers linger a bit longer over her skin. “I did learn that from you.”

Another wave broke, and with it a gust of wind, making Katara shiver. Her dress was sleeveless and she hadn’t brought a shawl or jacket. She caught Zuko’s hand just before he could pull it away. “Do you know what I learned from you?” she asked as she tucked herself under his arm. He was wearing less than her, just an open vest over his upper body, but of course he wasn’t cold. “Firebenders are an excellent heat source.” She nuzzled closer to his warmth to make her point.

Zuko sighed, leaning back and pulling Katara with him. She let out a breathy giggle of surprise as they fell into the sand. “Glad to be of service,” Zuko said dryly, holding her a little bit closer.

Lying down like this, they had a spectacular view of the night sky. The moon was not yet up, but the stars were clear and bright overhead. The constellations still didn’t look as familiar to her anywhere else as they did back at the south pole, but she was able to see a few old friends - the whale shark, and Ikotak’s spear. She pointed them out to Zuko, scooting closer still so that he could better follow the line of her outstretched arm to the sky.

“We call that one the dragon’s eye,” Zuko said when her finger stopped over the star that formed the tip of the spear. Reaching up, he took hold of her wrist, and guided her hand to trace the rest of the constellation. “See, there’s the snout, and these three are the mane…” He showed her a few others as well, softly breathing answers to all her whispered questions, before he let go of her wrist and lapsed into silence.

Katara let her hand fall to rest on her husband’s chest, just over the scar that was barely visible in the dim light. After a moment, she traced the edges of that starburst shape just as she had the pictures in the heavens above, and heard him inhale sharply. “And what do you call this one?”

“That,” said Zuko, his voice suddenly strained, as he placed his own hand over hers to still its motion, “has no name I can put into words.”

Katara pushed herself up on one elbow to get a better look at him, but kept her hand on the scar. His eyes were closed, and his face drawn, and she couldn’t understand what he was telling her, but she wanted to. She felt she owed him that much, as his wife, and perhaps it was something he owed to her for the same reason. There were parts of him, more than just physical, that belonged to her now. “Can you try?” she asked gently.

His fingers curled around hers. “It was the only thing I could do.”

Katara frowned. “It wasn’t a choice?”

“It was the right choice,” Zuko replied. He swallowed, and his eyes squeezed closed tighter. “It was...the only choice I could have lived with.”

“You could have  _ died,”  _ she pointed out, her own voice starting to sound strained as his had. He would have died, if she hadn’t gotten to him in time, if her fight with Azula had lasted just a moment longer. She had pulled him back from the edge, and she knew that he knew that. She had scolded him for it, in the days immediately after, and he had simply bowed his head and taken it.

“Even so.” Zuko opened his eyes, turning his head slightly towards her. “Do you understand?”

“No,” Katara admitted, shaking her head, fighting the feeling like she was going to cry. “There’s still so much I don’t understand about you…” It didn’t seem fair. He had always understood her so well, always known what she needed, before she had even  _ liked _ him.

Zuko pulled her back down beside him, and she hid her face against his shoulder. “That’s okay,” he said, his thumb tracing circles on the bare skin of her upper arm. “You understand plenty. You don’t have to do any more.”

“I should,” she mumbled against him. If they were going to make this work, if she was supposed to support him, she shouldn’t feel this way.

She felt the steady rise and fall of his chest three times before he spoke again. “We’ve been married three days, Katara. Give it time.”

Katara let out a sigh, and Zuko placed the gentlest kiss on the crown of her head. “You’re right, of course,” she said. Once again, he knew exactly the right thing to say to make her feel better. They had their whole lives ahead of them to figure this out. What she didn’t understand now, she would one day, hopefully.

Still, she traced the edges of the lightning scar pensively one last time, and Zuko did not stop her. 


	5. Hesitancy

The rainy season had begun, and if it hadn’t been so hot, Katara could have enjoyed it. As it was, the muggy weather made her feel like she was constantly drenched in sweat, and her hair became a frizzy, unmanageable nightmare. Zuko was unaffected - he had grown up here, after all, and was used to the climate, though Katara also noted with a hint of petty jealousy that  _ his _ hair was as straight and sleek as ever. 

“You have servants who can wash and oil your hair every day, if you want,” Zuko pointed out when she complained. “Or you could wear your hair up,” he suggested, indicating his own neat topknot. Then, with frustrating sincerity, he added, “Either way, you look fine.”

“That’s not the point,” Katara huffed, but unable to explain what the point was, she carried the conversation no further. But the next morning she did reluctantly allow her dresser to twist her hair into a sort of double loop at the back of her head, held in place with a large golden pin which at least had a blue stone rather than a stylized flame decorating the end.

It was an improvement to her discomfort, she had to admit, having all her hair off of her neck. But it had done nothing for her mood. The steady, monotonous sound of the rain still bothered her for some reason - it was because snow made no sound as it fell, she decided. She was homesick for the south pole.

That would also explain why reading the report on the next shipment of goods to her tribe was so hard. It had been implicit in their marriage agreement that the Fire Nation would provide the Southern Water Tribe with whatever they needed, and it should have made her happy, even proud to see this coming to fruition. Instead, she found herself reading the same page of the report over and over again with growing frustration, barely absorbing a word of it.

She was relieved when her secretary knocked on the door and told her it was time for her lunch appointment with the Northern Water Tribe ambassador’s wife.

Katara had arranged the appointment with Lady Sajika herself - and then been told she would have to lunch with the other ambassadors’ wives at some point as well, to avoid the appearance of favoritism. It would be worth it, however. At least, she hoped it would.

Lady Sajika bowed when Katara entered the private dining room, and of course waited for the Fire Lady to be seated before she took her own place at the table. Katara noticed that she was also wearing her hair up off her neck, though in a braided and beaded style that was definitively Water Tribe. When Katara complimented her on the look, the older woman smiled knowingly and offered to have her own dresser give Katara’s a few lessons. It might have been a bit presumptuous of her, but Katara was too grateful to care.

“But I didn’t ask you to have lunch with me just for your hair tips,” Katara admitted once the first course had been served - seaweed soup, a northern specialty which thankfully the cooks who had stayed on after the wedding were able to make with local ingredients. 

“I would imagine not, my lady,” Sajika replied. She sipped a delicate spoonful of her soup. “Though your cooks certainly need no help from me.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Katara said. Personally, she found the soup a bit over seasoned, but perhaps Sajika liked it that way. Or just as likely, she was only being polite. “It is nice to have a little taste of home, isn’t it?”

Sajika set down her spoon, and gave her a sympathetic look. “Are you missing it already?”

Katara looked down at her bowl, and stirred the soup idly with her spoon. Aside from her disappointment with the taste, she wasn’t feeling particularly hungry at the moment. “I think so,” she admitted. “I didn’t expect it to be this bad…”

Breaking all protocol, Lady Sajika reached across the table and took hold of the Fire Lady’s hand. Katara looked up in surprise to see a fierce look in the older woman’s eyes, something protective, even. “Oh no,” Katara hastily amended. “I didn’t mean anything like that!” She squeezed Sajika’s hand to reassure her. “I just didn’t think I’d be so homesick. I’ve been away from the south pole longer than this before.”

Sajika nodded, her relief evident, though when she muttered an apology and let go of her hand, Katara almost wished she hadn’t. “If I may, my lady,” Sajika offered tentatively, as if making up for her previous forwardness. “You have been away from your home before, but always with the intention to return.” She took another spoonful of her soup, and Katara did the same, just for the sake of politeness. “I know that for me, looking forward to each return to the north pole helps me get through the months my husband and I spend here.” Sajika smiled again, apologetic. “Not that the Fire Nation capital isn’t lovely.”

Katara nodded, understanding. “Zuko...I mean, the Fire Lord and I have discussed this.” She shrugged at her own slip, and Sajika laughed a little, put at ease. They were two Water Tribe women, after all, so what were a few lapses in Fire Nation court etiquette between them? “We will visit the south pole for the winter solstice next year.” She stirred her soup again. “But I suppose you’re right. It will only be a visit. I have to get used to this being my home now.”

Sajika nodded. “Well, if borrowing my hairdresser - or anything else - can help, I’m glad to serve, my lady.”

Katara set down her spoon, and folded her hands. “There was one thing I did want to ask you. You’re a healer, right?”

“I am,” Sajika confirmed, clearly surprised at this turn in the conversation. “But you have your own physician, do you not?”

Katara twisted her hands in her lap. “Doctor Izen is, well…” He was a graduate of the Fire Nation’s most prestigious medical school and a member of the family who had served as court physicians since time immemorial. Zuko trusted him, and there was no reason she shouldn’t. Except… “He’s a man,” Katara concluded. Maybe it was her own prejudice, but even at the south pole where female benders were taught to fight, healing was strictly women’s business.

Sajika understood perfectly. “Of course,” she said with a little laugh. “That would be a bridge too far for me, as well. But the Fire Nation is very egalitarian.” She said the last word a touch derisively. “I’m sure you could request a female doctor instead.”

“It would probably be taken as a slight, actually,” Katara explained. “The position is his by rights. And anyway, I wanted to ask you about waterbending, specifically.”

“Oh,” Sajika said in surprise. “You studied under Yugoda, didn’t you?”

The second course was brought in before Katara could answer - rice and smoked salmon, which tempted her weak appetite a bit more. The two of them ate in silence for a moment before Katara resumed the conversation.

“I only had a few lessons with Yugoda,” she admitted, picking at her rice with her chopsticks. “I figured a lot out on my own, for healing burns and other injuries.” Like lightning strikes, she thought, but that was not the issue here. “But I really don’t know anything about how waterbending applies...to pregnancy.”

Sajika set down her chopsticks. “You’ve only been married two months.”

Katara laughed nervously. “Well, there’s no rule that says it has to take long, is there?” Abandoning her own utensils as well, she wrung her hands again. “And that’s what I wanted to know. How soon can you...know for sure?”

Sajika’s attitude immediately turned businesslike. “What symptoms have you observed so far?”

“Well, I haven’t bled since before the wedding, and that’s not normal,” Katara said in a rush. “And I just...feel different. Tired, kind of moody.” She shrugged, feeling a bit helpless. “But I thought that could just be homesickness, or, you know...everything is so new to me.”

“That could be,” the older woman replied, nodding sagely. “But if you are pregnant, it’s actually fairly simple to tell.”

Katara listened attentively as Sajika described the process, and answered all her followup questions patiently. The ambassador’s wife also assured her that she would keep this conversation in total confidence, and any further discussions of a similar nature that the Fire Lady might wish to have. By the end of their lunch, Katara was thanking her profusely.

“And if you ever just need to talk to another Water Tribe woman,” Sajika added as they stood to leave, breaching protocol one last time to squeeze her hand again. “I’m here for that, too.”

Katara had a full afternoon schedule, and a formal dinner with representatives from the capital guild of glassblowers that evening, so she did not get the chance to try what Sajika had told her until the end of the day, when she dismissed the servants from her bath. As soon as she was alone, she placed both hands over her abdomen underneath the warm water...and hesitated.

If she was wrong, it wasn’t the end of the world. Like Sajika had pointed out, it was only two months since she and Zuko had been married. An heir was eagerly anticipated, certainly, but no one was counting on them to conceive that quickly. No one would be disappointed, not even Katara herself - though if it really was homesickness and stress that were messing up her cycle, she would have to do something about that. But they would simply keep trying, until she did get pregnant.

But if she was right…

A child was a blessing, and something she wanted. Katara knew she had been born to be a mother, had known it her whole life. More certainly than she had ever dreamed of love or marriage, she had dreamed of having a baby of her own. And it was her duty as the Fire Lady, as her tutor had told her when she first arrived here, to secure the line of succession.

This could be it. Mission accomplished, duty fulfilled. She wondered what that would mean, for her and Zuko, as husband and wife.

“Well,” she told herself ironically. “Best to get it over with.”

She reached out with her bending to the water around her, then turned her senses inwards, eyes squeezed shut in concentration. She felt all the pathways of her own chi flowing through her body, strong and vital with no sign of illness - and sure enough, there was the concentration of that energy around her womb that Sajika had told her to look for, and if she really probed deeply she could just make out something else in the midst of it, another energy signature that was like hers, but not.

Her child.

“Wow,” Katara breathed. And then, stupidly, because she knew there was no possible way that tiny being could hear her yet, she said, “Hi, baby.”

Letting go of the water, she covered her face with her hands, and laughed for joy.

She was still in that good mood when Zuko found her later, sitting at the vanity in her bedroom and humming to herself as she braided her hair for the night - quite the contrast from how she had snapped at him about the weather the night before, she realized. And Zuko of course noticed the difference, too. “Someone must have had a good day,” he remarked, resting one hand on her shoulder.

Katara smiled at his reflection in the mirror as she tied off her braid. “You could say that.” Then she spun around to face him, took hold of both his hands...and hesitated again.

“Well, don’t leave me in suspense,” Zuko teased. He was already dressed for bed, too, though unlike that night he had found her in the garden, he had tied back his hair in a low tail. It was more practical, but Katara thought he looked better with it down. “Did the cook finally season the soup to your liking?”

“No,” Katara replied, making a face. “I just hope Lady Sajika liked it, and wasn’t just being polite.”

Zuko’s brow furrowed in confusion. “So your lunch with the northern ambassador’s wife was not the success you hoped it would be?”

“Actually, it was,” Katara said, quickly grinning again. “And...we have another success to celebrate as well.” She squeezed both of his hands, butterflies dancing in her stomach.

“Oh?” Zuko said curiously, pulling her to her feet and taking a few backwards steps towards her bed. “And what is that, oh great and successful Fire Lady?”

For all her nerves, Katara couldn’t keep it to herself any longer. “I’m pregnant.”

Still walking backwards, Zuko stumbled. Fortunately, the bed was there to catch him, and he only ended up sitting down, still holding on to both of Katara’s hands. “You’re what?”

“Pregnant,” Katara repeated, laughter coming through in her voice. “Expecting. With child.”

“I know what pregnant means,” Zuko cut her off before she could think of another euphemism. “But... _ you’re _ pregnant?”

“Mmhm,” Katara hummed in reply, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“You,” Zuko repeated, still appearing to struggle with the information. “You are...having a baby?”

“There’s only so many ways you can parse this, Zuko,” Katara chided. “And  _ we’re _ having a baby.”

“We are having a baby,” Zuko echoed her again, though at least this time he didn’t say it as a question. His voice had gone low, even awed, and his eyes drifted away from her to stare somewhere into the middle distance.

Katara sat down next to him on the edge of the bed. “Are you happy?”

Zuko gave her a strange look, as if startled. “Of course,” he replied. “Katara, this is...it’s  _ amazing.” _ He withdrew his hands from her grasp to cup both sides of her face, as he had done on their wedding night. “Are  _ you _ happy?”

Katara had to blink back her tears of joy. “You saw for yourself,” she reminded him. “Zuko...I think this is the thing I’ve wanted most in my entire life.”

A storm of emotions seemed to pass through her husband’s eyes, too rapidly for Katara to read them, but what they settled on was not what she expected. He still looked happy, but also somehow sad at the same time. No name he could put into words, she remembered suddenly.

“And now you have it,” Zuko said softly. He leaned in to kiss her, and Katara tilted her face ever so slightly in anticipation, but his lips only brushed her forehead. “I’m glad. Good night, Katara. Sleep well.” Then he stood, walked through the door to his own bedroom, and closed it behind him.

Katara stared after him in shock.

After a moment, she crawled into her bed - her big, soft, empty bed - and curled up under the covers with a huff of frustration. It wasn’t like Zuko spent every night with her. They had slept in their separate rooms plenty of times since the wedding. She hadn’t gotten so used to having him by her side that she couldn’t sleep without him or anything.

But this was it, wasn’t it? Mission accomplished, duty fulfilled. Their marriage was not a love match. Only, like the thought of never seeing the snows of her homeland again, she realized that the possibility of sleeping alone every night from now on...bothered her.

It was just one night, she reminded herself. Maybe he had been abrupt in leaving her, but that didn’t mean anything. He was probably still reeling from the news he was going to be a father so soon. And if Katara called her husband an idiot under her breath as she rolled over and tried to get comfortable, that was nobody’s business but her own.


	6. Affirm

Katara was pregnant. They were having a baby. He was going to be a father.

These thoughts kept bouncing around in Zuko’s mind over the course of the next few days. It would occur to him when he opened his eyes in the morning, that one not-so-distant day there might be a little firebender waking up to meditate with him. Or, when he looked out the window and saw the ponds in the garden, he imagined there might be a little waterbender practicing by her mother’s side. When he saw Katara at breakfast, he would ask anxiously after how she had slept and if she was feeling well, or needed anything - and her clipped replies were enough to remind him that he needed to give her space, and not hover.

And each night, when he went to bed alone, and the door to the Fire Lady’s bedroom remained closed, he was reminded that the circumstances of their marriage were purely political, and that they had now, in Katara’s terms, “gotten it over with”. And he hated himself for selfishly wishing it had not happened quite so soon.

It was too early for an official announcement, but Zuko did ask Katara’s permission to share their news with his uncle - if the grand master of the Order of the White Lotus could not be counted on to keep a secret, after all, then no one could be. Katara agreed that this was fine - “Hopefully he’ll take it better than you,” were her exact words, and Zuko winced and apologized and tried to reassure Katara that really, he was thrilled. But he didn’t think he had succeeded. She could probably tell that some part of him  _ wasn’t _ happy about this development, even if she didn’t guess the reason why.

When he joined his uncle for tea that afternoon, it was almost the first thing out of his mouth. “Katara’s pregnant,” he blurted out, relieved and eager just to be able to tell someone.

Iroh blinked in surprise, then gave a hearty laugh and clapped Zuko on the back. “No time wasted, nephew!” he said proudly, gripping Zuko’s shoulder and giving him a little shake. “Good for you!”

Zuko felt his face flush. It wasn’t like  _ he’d _ done anything impressive. “Uncle,” he said instead of acknowledging the compliment. “I’m going to be a father.”

Iroh gave his shoulder another pat, sympathetic. “And how do you feel about that?”

“A little bit terrified,” Zuko admitted, tapping his fingers against the side of his teacup. “But...excited, too.”

“Good!” Iroh said firmly. “Believe it or not, it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous. Personally, I think you have nothing to worry about.”

Zuko looked up at his uncle in surprise. “Really?” Not that he totally lacked confidence in himself, but he would be lying if he said that his own father’s shadow didn’t hang over him to some degree still.

“You’ve shown yourself a better man than him in every way you’ve had the chance so far, Fire Lord Zuko,” his uncle replied solemnly. Then with a little shrug, he added in a lighter tone, “What’s one more?”

This time, Zuko bowed his head and accepted the compliment. “Thank you, Uncle.”

Iroh nodded, smiling. “So as long as the Fire Lady is in good health, you can just relax.” A mischievous gleam appeared in his eye. “And  _ enjoy _ this.”

Zuko gave his uncle a wary look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Iroh chuckled. “Your wife is a woman of flesh and blood.” He picked up his teacup and held it in both hands. “And like any woman in her condition, she will have needs…”

Zuko frowned in confusion. “I’m sure Doctor Izen can take care of her just fine.” Then he took a sip from his own cup.

“Not those kinds of needs, Zuko,” his uncle replied patiently. “The kind that only her husband can satisfy.”

Zuko nearly choked on his tea. Iroh clapped him on the back again as he coughed. When he found his voice again, all Zuko could manage was a strained, “What?”

“It’s true!” Iroh insisted. Then, with a nostalgic sort of grin that Zuko did not like at all, he went on, “Why, when my wife was expecting, she…”

“No,” Zuko cut him off forcefully, setting his teacup down on the table. “We’re not...it’s different.”

“You forget that we were an arranged match, too,” Iroh reminded him. He took a steady sip of his own tea. “Neither your aunt nor I had much say in the matter, and we ended up being quite happy with each other.”

Zuko shook his head. It still wasn’t the same. “Katara doesn’t love me.”

Iroh sighed. “Whether or not that is true,” he said skeptically, “she is a pregnant woman, and you are the father of her child. Trust me on this - she is consumed with desire for you.”

“No, she’s not,” Zuko argued, his face burning again. His uncle really didn’t understand, he’d always had such a...winning way with women. Zuko just wasn’t like him in that regard. “The only reason we even...slept together in the first place was because we need an heir, and she wants a baby.”

Iroh raised an eyebrow. “Did she tell you that?”

“She might as well have,” Zuko muttered. They had agreed, before the wedding, to try for an heir, nothing more. And she had said herself it was what she really wanted.

Iroh still seemed unconvinced. He narrowed his eyes at Zuko. “Have  _ you _ told her that you love her yet?”

“No,” Zuko replied, shaking his head. “And now is certainly not the time.” Katara had enough to occupy her mind at the moment, without having to worry about his own unwelcome feelings on top of everything.

Iroh set down his cup, then leaned across the table and took hold of his nephew’s hands. “Zuko, I am begging you - talk to your wife about this,” he said earnestly. Zuko was just about ready to concede that his uncle might have a point, when that mischievous gleam came back and he just had to continue, “And after you have done that, do yourself and your wife both a favor, and make love to her like your life depends on it.”

Zuko was on his feet and out the door before his uncle could say anything else so mortifying, but Iroh’s laughter still followed him out of the room.

* * *

He and Katara had dinner together that evening, but with everything his uncle had said to him, Zuko could barely keep up the conversation without blushing and sputtering like an idiot. Katara, for her part, certainly did not seem to be  _ consumed with desire _ for him. If anything, she seemed to still be mad at him. No, Zuko amended his thoughts as he chanced a glance up at her from his plate and caught her glare. Katara was  _ definitely _ still mad at him. It wasn’t like he didn’t have the experience to recognize that.

Zuko set down his chopsticks. “Are you...okay?” he ventured.

“I’m fine, Zuko,” Katara replied, poking at her food without looking at him.

Zuko took a deep breath. “I mean, is there anything you need from me?” Wordlessly, she looked up, her eyes like ice. “Or anything you...want?”

“You would know if there was, wouldn’t you?” Katara said archly, returning her attention to her food. She lifted a morsel of komodo chicken to her mouth and chewed delicately, eyes downcast.

“Okay,” Zuko said, not sure that was true. Iroh’s advice was looking less sound by the minute. “So, um...have you talked to Doctor Izen yet?”

Katara wrinkled her nose in distaste, and Zuko thought it was tremendously unfair that, even mad at him, she could be so adorable. “I’d rather have a waterbending healer,” she confessed.

This, at least, was something concrete, and Zuko latched on to it. “We can ask for Yugoda, or whoever you’d like to come, but…” Katara looked up at him again, and he was relieved to see she looked hopeful. “If we send the request before we make the announcement, people will talk. Unless you think there’s…” Zuko swallowed nervously. “Is there something wrong, that only a waterbender could fix?”

Katara shook her head.

“Then I still think you should see Doctor Izen,” Zuko concluded. Katara frowned, and he hastily added, “Just for now.”

“Just for now,” Katara repeated, nodding. “Alright. But we make the announcement as soon as we can.”

“Just another month,” Zuko agreed. Six months before the child was expected was the traditional time for it, and though he didn’t really know why that was the case, he knew better than to flout the traditions of the court whenever he could avoid it. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you need?”

Katara offered him a half-smile, and Zuko felt that was great progress. “We’ll see what the doctor says.”

* * *

True to her word, Katara met with Doctor Izen the following day, after which the doctor requested a private audience with the Fire Lord, for which Zuko gladly cleared his schedule and had him shown into his office.

Doctor Izen was an older man whom Zuko had known his whole life. He had delivered both Zuko and Azula, treated all their childhood illnesses - Zuko’s illnesses, mostly, for Azula was rarely sick - and even tended to Zuko’s burns before he had been sent into exile. Zuko knew it was only thanks to the good doctor’s skill that he retained any use of his left eye at all. That sort of history bred implicit trust.

“First of all,” Doctor Izen began, settling into one of the chairs opposite the Fire Lord’s desk. “You will be happy to know that the Fire Lady is in perfect health.” Zuko nodded eagerly. He had trusted Katara’s own assessment, of course, but it was good to hear it confirmed. “And secondly,” the doctor continued with a little smile, “congratulations, my lord.”

In spite of all his misgivings, Zuko smiled as well. They were having a baby, and he was going to be a father. That was still amazing. “Thank you, doctor.”

“Now,” Doctor Izen went on, leaning forward and folding his hands on the edge of Zuko’s desk. “Some husbands think that once the wife is with child, their part is done - I am here to tell you this is  _ not _ the case, no matter what anyone tries to tell you to the contrary.”

Zuko nodded, fidgeting with one hand that rested on the desktop. “My uncle did mention I should be...attentive to her needs.”

“Naturally,” Doctor Izen agreed. “Your primary job is to make sure she isn’t feeling overburdened or uncomfortable. Any sort of stress can make the pregnancy more difficult. Don’t give her too much work to do - but don’t let her feel like she’s sitting idle, either. See that she eats regularly, and sleeps soundly, and as things progress she’ll want to spend less time on her feet.”

Zuko listened carefully, keeping up with all these instructions. They seemed sensible enough, though not quite what his uncle had recommended.

“I’ve told the Fire Lady all this as well, of course,” Doctor Izen concluded. “Did you have any questions?”

“Well,” Zuko said, working up his courage. The man was a doctor. If he couldn’t ask him, it was truly hopeless. “My uncle suggested there was...one particular need I should attend to.”

“You mean conjugal relations?” Doctor Izen prompted.

Zuko felt his color rising, but otherwise maintained his composure. “Yes.”

Doctor Izen was a consummate professional. He didn’t even blink. “That can help relieve stress,” he explained as if merely prescribing an herbal remedy. “Just be gentle with her.”

“Right,” Zuko agreed, the collar of his robes starting to feel a bit tight. “Of course.”

Doctor Izen leaned in closer, conspiratorially. “Every young husband wants to know about that, my lord,” he confided. “Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Zuko nodded, and then perhaps emboldened by this affirmation, added, “I just didn’t think she would...want that. In her condition.” Not only because of the pregnancy, of course, but that was the doctor’s area of expertise.

But Doctor Izen shook his head. “That, my lord, you can only know if you ask her.”

* * *

The Fire Lord and Fire Lady both dined with the ministers of agriculture and public works that evening, and though Katara excused herself and retired once the meal was through, Zuko was held up with Minister Sheng discussing the proposal for a bridge connecting two of the Fire Nation’s outlying islands. By the time he finally made it back to his private apartments, he could see that the Fire Lady’s room was dark. Katara must have already gone to bed. That was good, he decided. Doctor Izen had said she needed her sleep.

But as he undressed and got ready for bed himself, and then dismissed his servants for the night, Zuko reconsidered. Doctor Izen had also said he should talk to her, and Iroh had said the same. And he wanted to. It wasn’t like he enjoyed this walking on eggshells around her - and hadn’t that been the very thing Katara had also said she wanted to avoid, when she’d decided they should “get it over with”?

Steeling himself once again, Zuko strode over to the door that joined their rooms, reached for the handle - then stopped, rethought that, and rapped his knuckles against the door three times in quick succession instead.

He heard a sudden creaking and rusting, like someone hastily getting out of bed, followed by hurried footsteps, and then the door flew open, and there stood Katara - glaring at him again. “You  _ knock _ now?” she asked sharply.

His hand still hanging in the air where it had rested against the door a moment ago, Zuko looked at her in bewilderment. “Would you rather I had just barged in?” The question was sincere - he really didn’t know with her these days.

Katara’s shoulders dropped. “No,” she admitted irritably. “It’s just...you never knocked. Before.”

Zuko at least knew what “before” meant. Before she had told him she was pregnant. He had never needed to knock before that - she had always left the door open, until he had shut it. 

“I’m sorry,” Zuko offered, his hand falling back to his side. “Can we...talk about it?”

Katara folded her arms, looking up at him through her lashes - she was so beautiful, and she really had no idea what that did to him. “Fine,” she agreed. Then, to his surprise, she pushed past him into  _ his _ bedroom, swept over to the bed, and sat down. “Let’s talk.”

She looked ethereal in her pale blue nightgown. She had neglected to braid her hair that night and it floated wild around her face - Zuko longed to gently brush it back. But that wasn’t what she needed from him just now. “I know that you’re mad at me,” he began, taking a hesitant step closer. Katara looked at him blankly, waiting. “I’m sorry I...didn’t react the way you wanted, when you told me. And I’m sorry if I haven’t been as supportive as you needed. But Katara, I am trying. And I  _ am _ happy about this...about the baby.”

Katara nodded. “That’s fair,” she allowed, though her arms remained sternly crossed. “I do understand, why you wouldn’t be as eager as I am to have a child.”

“No, that’s not it,” Zuko argued, taking another step closer. “I mean, yeah, of course I’m scared, but I  _ want _ this. I want to be a father, and I know I can do it better than him. And I want…” 

Katara still gave him that blank look, which was somehow worse than when she was angry. “What else do you want, Zuko?”

Selfishly, he wanted to tell her. He wanted more than just to be a father. He wanted to be the father of  _ her _ baby, because he wanted her - not just physically wanted her, but with every fiber of his being, body and soul. But telling her  _ that _ would surely be overburdening her, which he had been sternly warned not to do.

Holding back the words, he found nothing else to say, and could only look at her desperately. Katara studied him, and he knew she was trying to understand, and it killed him that he couldn’t help her. But after a moment, she let out a sigh. “You can’t put it into words,” she concluded. She relaxed her stiff posture a little, uncrossing her arms and folding her hands in her lap instead. “You know what? I think that’s okay.”

Zuko blinked in surprise. “It is?”

Katara nodded again. “I was so used to you knowing everything about me - understanding everything about me - I guess I forgot you’re not actually a mind reader.” She offered him an apologetic smile of her own. “There are things I have trouble putting into words, too, you know. But I can say now…” She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “I miss you.” Then she opened her eyes to see his reaction.

Zuko was afraid he was disappointing her again, for he didn’t know how to react to that. “You’ve seen me every day.”

“No,” she said, looking down and smoothing one hand over the bed covers next to her. “I miss you  _ here.” _

Zuko felt his heart skip several beats. “I..didn’t know you felt that way.” Had his uncle been right after all?

“Right. You’re not a mind reader,” Katara repeated, picking absently at the stitching on the bedcovers. She lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. “And...I don’t want to think too much about this, okay? I just want my husband.” She looked back up at him, her face no longer blank, nor angry, but imploring. “Please?”

She wanted her husband. Whether it was because she was pregnant or because she was lonely or some other reason, Katara wanted him. And Zuko, idiot that he cursed himself for, had made her feel like she had to beg. But she had been honest with him, and he could do the same, at least in equal measure.

Closing the rest of the distance between them, Zuko ran his hands through her hair and down the sides of her face like he had been longing to do. “Katara,” he said reverently. “I’ve missed you, too.”

She grabbed the front of his nightshirt and pulled him down to kiss her, and he was left with no illusions about the force of her desire. Whatever her reasons, he would give her what she wanted - and he would take what she gave him, too, and enjoy it. That, he thought, might be the most selfish thing he had done yet.


	7. Rebirth

The rainy season passed, but day by day Katara faced a different kind of discomfort. Yugoda had been unable to come, but the Northern Water Tribe had gladly allowed Lady Sajika to assist the Fire Lady in her place. Gran Gran had also come back up from the south pole after the announcement was made, as much for moral support as anything, though Katara knew her grandmother’s decades of experience at delivering babies was invaluable. Doctor Izen couldn’t help but resent this encroachment into his territory, but at the Fire Lady’s insistence, he had to accept it. At any rate, all three of them assured Katara that everything she was going through was perfectly normal - all the aches, pains, swelling, insomnia, mood swings, fatigue, and everything else.

This assurance made it more bearable, but only marginally.

As for Zuko, once their initial misunderstanding had been cleared up, Katara had to admit he had risen to the occasion, and managed to strike a good balance of being supportive without being overbearing. As she began to show, there were times she would catch him staring at her stomach with a mix of pride and disbelief, and when he shared her bed - still not every night, but often enough so that she never felt neglected - he would always fall asleep with one hand resting protectively on the growing curve of her belly. And that helped, in its own way, to make her feel better about the less pleasant aspects of pregnancy.

Of course, Katara would have born it all for the sake of her child alone. That faint energy signature she had first detected had grown at an astonishing rate into a rambunctious little girl that she could feel kicking and squirming inside of her. Sajika insisted it was a girl, anyway, and Katara was inclined to agree with her, though Gran Gran said she was carrying high, which meant it was more likely a boy. Doctor Izen, for his part, maintained there was no way to know for sure until the child was born.

Still, Katara had begun to think of the baby as her daughter. And when she and Zuko discussed names, she found it hard to form an opinion about any of the boy’s names he suggested.

“What about Raiden?” Zuko offered. Seated at his desk, he had various history and genealogy scrolls spread before him, searching for inspiration for a name that would be appropriately traditional, without any of the baggage of the more recent generations of the royal family.

From where she was reclining at the window seat, Katara shrugged. “It sounds nice,” she said, noncommittal. “Who was he?”

“A Fire Lord so boring history all but forgot him,” Zuko replied. Setting one scroll aside, he picked up another. “Maybe that’s not a good legacy, either…” he mused, moving on to other options. “Hiro?” he suggested.

“A bit generic,” Katara said, smoothing one hand over her stomach - quite large by now - and turning her face to the warm sunlight coming through the window. “But it sounds nice, too.”

Zuko put down the latest scroll and gave her a frustrated look. “You’ve said every name sounds nice,” he complained. “But you don’t seem to actually like any of them.”

“It’s just...these are boy’s names, dear.” She had started calling him  _ dear, _ sometime in the last few months, a teasing pet name that grew more affectionate each time she uttered it. “Maybe we will use one of them someday, for the next one.” Zuko blinked in surprise, for that was something they had not really talked about yet, but Katara knew she personally would never be satisfied with one. “But they won’t suit  _ her,” _ she said, patting her belly for emphasis. “And I can’t help feeling...she already has a name.”

They hadn’t talked about that, either, but Katara suspected there was a reason Zuko had only thrown out male names so far, and it wasn’t because he believed in Gran Gran’s prediction. If the baby was a girl - and she was sure it was - there was only one name she wanted. Only one name that would feel right.

Zuko stood, came to her side, and placed his hand on her stomach as well. “Kya.”

The moment he spoke her name, the baby kicked, right against the spot where her father’s hand rested. Katara smiled up at him. “See? She knows already, that’s her.”

“Princess Kya,” Zuko said experimentally. “Fire Lord Kya. Are you ready for that argument?”

Katara raised one eyebrow, challenging. “Are you ready, is the real question.”

“I’ll be dead,” Zuko replied flippantly. “It will be your problem, darling.” Like  _ dear, _ the word  _ darling _ had crept into Zuko’s vocabulary at some point.

“Well, since that won’t happen for a very long time, everyone will have ages and ages to get used to the idea.” Katara smiled innocently. “Besides, she could be a waterbender, and then it wouldn’t matter.”

“True,” Zuko conceded. His hand shifted on her stomach, a little closer to her navel. “If that were the case, I suppose we would have to have another one.”

He said it lightly, but Katara knew it was a weighty proposition. She had always been close with her brother, but Zuko’s relationship with his sister was far more complicated, even if Azula had begun to make progress, with their mother’s help. “Is that what you want?” she asked - not a teasing question, but a serious one.

“It’s what  _ you _ want,” Zuko replied, just as serious. “And I want to make you happy.”

She took hold of his other hand, closing the circle of their little family - mom, dad, and baby. “You do make me happy.”

He was giving her that look again, the one she knew well by now. She still didn’t understand what it meant, and he still hadn’t found the words to tell her, but the idea didn’t upset her like it used to. It was thrilling, actually, like an unopened gift, and she felt a confident anticipation that one day she would unwrap that secret. Perhaps even one day soon.

“Well,” Zuko said after a moment, returning to his desk. “We should still pick a boy’s name, just in case.” He picked up another scroll, and handed it to her. “Here - you look this time.” And when she started to protest, he cut her off with a smile: “Even if it’s just for the next one.”

They settled on a name eventually, one they both liked and Katara thought she would come to love, if it were the name of her son. Still, she was sure, the child she carried now was Kya, her daughter.

* * *

Soon enough, the day came when the little princess made her appearance, and proved her mother right.

The greatest complication of the birth was, thankfully, the competing professional pride of the waterbending healer and the court physician, but with the Fire Lady adamant that she wanted Sajika to assist her, and her grandmother by her side, Doctor Izen had to eventually give in and agree to work with the Water Tribe women, lest he break his streak of delivering royal babies. If he had less to do during the actual birthing process than he would have liked, he did manage to claim for himself the honor of being the one to inform the Fire Lord that he had a daughter.

And Zuko was in love. That was the only way Katara could describe it. He stole away from working every chance he got to come visit her and Kya, and took every opportunity to hold the baby, speaking to her softly or humming lullabies as he rocked her to sleep. Katara would almost have been jealous of him monopolizing their daughter, if she didn’t get to have Kya with her all the time anyway. She had insisted on nursing the baby herself - and been surprised to discover she had Doctor Izen for an ally on that decision. She admitted to herself she would have to reevaluate her opinion of the man.

It also just felt right, watching her husband dote on their little girl.

“I think her eyes are turning gold,” Zuko observed one afternoon as he slowly paced her bedroom, completely enraptured with the fussy baby in his arms.

Seated on the edge of her bed, Katara smiled. “I noticed that, too.” Kya gave a little whine, and Zuko adjusted his hold on her, but the baby wasn’t pacified. “Is she hungry?”

“Maybe,” Zuko replied, but he obviously wasn’t eager to hand Kya off to her just yet. He tried bouncing her gently, and that seemed to do the trick for a while. “I had hoped she would have your eyes,” he admitted. But he certainly didn’t sound any less fond of her for it.

“No,” Katara said. “I’m glad she takes after her father.” Kya began to whimper again, and Katara held out her arms. “She’s definitely hungry, though.”

Zuko came and sat next to her, finally giving Katara her baby back. She pulled open her robe and put the child to her breast, and sure enough Kya began to suckle eagerly. Zuko put one arm around her, his thumb tracing idly back and forth across the nape of her neck, and worked the index finger of his other hand into the baby’s grasp, still totally intent on their daughter as she nursed. Totally intent on her, and as he leaned in close, Katara had a good view of the look on his face - warm, open, hiding nothing and holding nothing back. He looked at their daughter that way because he loved her.

And Katara knew that look. He had been looking at  _ her _ that way all along.

_ Oh, _ she thought.  _ That does make sense. _ And when Kya fell asleep at her breast, and Zuko turned that look back towards her, she saw into his soul and knew the name of this secret at last. “Zuko,” she said softly, placing one hand on his chest, just where she knew that bright star marked his skin. “I think I understand now.”

Zuko nodded, moving his hand from her back to brush her hair out of her face. She had been leaving it down, in private, because she knew how much he enjoyed doing that, and because she liked it as well. “I think you probably do,” he agreed.

“Still,” Katara said, her fingers curling in the fabric of his shirt. “I would like to hear you put it into words.”

His fingers still combing gently through her hair, Zuko took a deep breath. “I love you, Katara.”

And there it was, out in the open. She knew now that he was showing her not just his soul, but his heart - unveiled, naked and unashamed. She owned that mystery now, for he had given it to her, and she had made it part of herself - and yet it was no less mysterious, no less exhilarating in its otherness from her. Her first instinct had been right - she would never fully understand. But she would never grow tired of every day learning more about this person who was her husband.

“How long have you known?” she asked, already hungry to know more.

“Since I opened my eyes,” Zuko replied, extracting his fingers from her hair and placing his hand over hers on his chest. “And saw that you had survived.”

Katara nodded, processing this. Somehow, though she had never considered it before, it was not a surprise. “I didn’t know, back then,” she said slowly, “what love is.” Maybe she had been too young, for all she had thought herself terribly grown up. “And I’m still not entirely sure,” she admitted. “But what I do know is…” She paused to take a deep breath of her own, and Zuko laced his fingers through hers, silently encouraging her.

“I am glad our daughter has your eyes,” she began. That was easy, she had already said as much. “And I want to have more children - not just because I want them, but because I want them with you.” A little harder, but not entirely something he couldn’t have guessed. She pressed on, speaking faster. “I want you to be there every time I’m sad, or afraid, or confused, and I want to be there for you, too. Being with you makes me happy, even when I don’t know what you’re thinking, and even when you make a complete  _ idiot _ of yourself, or drive me mad…” 

Zuko let out a breathy laugh, and Katara followed suit, but went on, just as hurried as before. “Even then, I don’t want to lose you. I know I’ve already seen you become a better person - helped you become a better person - and you have helped me, too. And I want us to keep helping each other like that.”

She had to pause and take another shuddering breath. “And if that’s what love is, then I love you, too, Zuko.”

Zuko leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “You do understand.”

Katara let her eyes drift shut. They stayed like that for a moment. Then, with their hands still clasped over his heart and their sleeping daughter held between them, Zuko shifted slightly so that his lips met hers in a kiss.

* * *

As much as Princess Kya’s parents adored her, they could not keep her to themselves.

Katara’s grandmother was a great help, as patient and calm as ever and full of maternal wisdom. It was she who helped Katara adjust to nursing, and figure out how her baby liked best to be swaddled, and otherwise offered an extra pair of hands whenever one was needed. There were servants, of course, but Zuko could understand why Katara felt much better entrusting Kya to her own grandmother. He knew she felt the absence of her mother keenly at this time, and having Gran Gran there was the next best thing.

Iroh, of course, was eager to spoil his new great-niece, and arrived with some new toy or little baby dress every day. “She’s too young for most of these, Uncle,” Zuko finally complained, eyeing the accumulated pile of gifts with suspicion.

“But she will grow, won’t she!” Iroh replied enthusiastically, leaning over Katara’s shoulder to tickle the baby under her chin with one finger. Kya merely twitched and waved her arms without near enough coordination to swat away this annoyance. “Before you will know it, she will be a beautiful young lady, and princes the world around will be petitioning you for her hand.” He winked at Katara as he said this, and she stifled a giggle, but Zuko didn’t find the idea so amusing.

“We are not going to think about that,” he declared, but it came out sounding rather faint, and he didn’t quite succeed at following his own direction. Of course he knew his daughter would be grown up some day, but the thought of it was too overwhelming to consider in great detail just yet.

The rest of their family and friends had the disadvantage of having to travel, and did not get to meet the new princess quite as soon.

Ursa arrived first this time, and proceeded to hog the baby just as much as Katara had teased Zuko about doing. In spite of himself, Zuko wound up following her around and reminding her to support Kya’s head and make sure she was warm until Ursa laughed in his face and reminded him that she was his mother, and certainly knew how to hold babies at least as well as he did. But she had come alone again, which meant her stay was once again brief, so Zuko could hardly begrudge her making the most of her time with her granddaughter.

“Maybe someday,” Ursa said hopefully when she hugged him goodbye, “you and Katara will come visit us at Ember Island.”

“We’ll see,” Zuko demurred, with a glance in Katara’s direction. She didn’t look so enthusiastic at the idea, and Zuko didn’t blame her. Seeing Azula again certainly wouldn’t be easy for her, and Zuko wasn’t going to force the issue. He wanted to visit his sister, but he wouldn’t make her come with him if she wasn’t comfortable.

But after a moment, Katara reached for his hand, and that seemed to reassure her. “I think, together,” she said, as much to him as to his mother, “maybe someday we could.”

Hakoda and Sokka made it to the Fire Nation capital shortly after Ursa’s departure, bringing Suki with them, for a longer stay. The first time her father held the baby, smiling down at her and whispering, “Hello, Kya,” Katara actually cried. Zuko knew the tears were bittersweet, and held her through them. 

Suki took her turn next, and Sokka made a joke about her “getting it out of her system” that caused Katara to scold him, which somewhat spoiled the moment. But nobody was really angry, and they were all soon laughing and cooing over the baby again. That, Zuko supposed, was family.

Finally, on one sunny day, they all gathered in the palace gardens. Zuko sat with Katara in the shade of a tree, with Kya in a sling against her mother’s chest. Sokka and Suki were attempting to feed the turtleducks, though Sokka wasn’t having much luck, as the ducklings continually ignored him in favor of Suki. A little ways away, Iroh and Hakoda were absorbed in conversation about some technical points of sailing, which Zuko was a little surprised to see that Gran Gran also seemed to be following.

That was when Aang and Toph arrived, together. And they were holding hands.

“Alright, even I can tell you’re all staring,” Toph announced in her usual bombastic fashion. She thrust out her other arm to point at Sokka, who had just opened his mouth. “Not a word out of you, Snoozles.”

“Hi, everyone,” Aang said cheerfully, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Of course no amount of bluster from Toph could keep everyone’s questions at bay, but Aang did pull off a graceful dodge of the interrogation with the reminder that they were there to meet the baby. “Okay,” Toph said as the two of them settled in the grass opposite Zuko and Katara. “Let me see this kid.”

Katara removed Kya from the sling and passed her to Aang, who held her while Toph carefully traced the baby’s features with her fingertips. Kya of course fussed at this intrusion, and Toph grinned. “She’s got spunk,” she declared. “I like her.”

Aang, for his part, looked at a loss as to what to do with the wiggly baby in his arms. Zuko came to the rescue, taking his daughter and settling her against his shoulder, soothing her with ease. “Just tell me one thing,” he asked, flicking one finger back and forth between Aang and Toph. “Did the council of nations have anything to do with this?”

Aang laughed. “No,” he said, taking hold of Toph’s hand again. “We can’t all be as lucky as you two.”

Zuko looked back at Katara as she laughed, too, and met his eye. She was amazing, he thought. Beautiful and strong and bright - and most incredibly of all, she loved him. He had learned, now, how to read that in her, just as she had discovered how to read him. The marriage that had begun as a torment for him had miraculously become a great blessing.

“Yeah,” Zuko agreed, smiling at his wife. “I guess I was pretty lucky after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I Want to Know What Love Is" by Foreigner plays over the credits.
> 
> Thanks for another great Zutara Week, everyone!


End file.
